When you care, it hurts

I recently found out that we had been unsuccessful in a tender we put in for a new piece of work.

I was gutted.

I can pretend that I wasn't. I can pretend that I don't care. But I do. I deeply and passionately care. I put my heart and soul into that bid, I truly gave it all that I had. I could see that the team I had pulled together was brilliant. I could see that together we would bring magic and life to the senior leaders in an organisation who massively need it. Above all, I knew that we cared. Care, kindness and compassion are so desperately missing from the vast majority of leadership development programmes.

My care, the fact that I truly cared about the outcome of the bid because I wanted to do the work was reflected throughout the whole Firefly team. Passion is central to the way we work.

I care, not because it would be a number in a spreadsheet on my P&L.

I care, not because it would be a shiny credential to include in my next bid for another client.

I care, not because I can use it as a chance to grow my team or test out my latest thinking.

I care, purely and simply because I value the client organisation and the individuals within it. I know without any hesitation whatsoever we could help them in a way that was different.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not a Saint. There have been times when, as the founder and owner of a small business I have desperately needed the next potential client to say "yes". There have been times when paying my mortgage depended on it. But this wasn't that. These days I am fortunate to have a strong client base, even in a pandemic, and to be able to see the road in front of me. So these days when I am gutted about not winning a piece of work it's because I care.

And I'm going to be bold and say that it simply isn't the same with large companies who do this work. I can say that with all confidence and integrity because I've worked with several of them over the course of my career. Yes, there are individuals within those large companies that do care, passionately so. But the difference is that the team has not been drawn together by someone who is truly putting the client first. Big companies don't have someone who sits down and puts a team of leadership development specialists together because they absolutely know that it's the best team possible for the client and they care about the work.

A large company offering leadership development solutions has too many other agenda items at play.

Yes, they might have lots of shiny credentials of work that they've done with other companies or organisations.

Yes, they might have a robust methodology (whatever that truly means) but they do not have the same heartbeat. They do not have the same passion. And, sadly, ultimately they often do not have the same integrity.

Maybe I care too much, maybe that's why it hurts that I can see this client will not get the same care that they deserve. But at the end of the day, I'd rather hurt because I care, than not care for my clients.

I share this because change makers care, deeply. You know that feeling of giving something your all and it not working out. And of picking yourself up, dusting yourself down and trying again.

When you care, it hurts. And that's ok.