Change doesn’t always happen in an instant
Most of us have things in our lives that we would like to change, whether it’s our living arrangements, career trajectory, new skills we’d like to acquire or traits we’d prefer to leave behind. Working towards goals and manifesting the changes that we’d like to see is an important part of our personal and professional development.
But it’s easy to get the wrong idea and underestimate what goes on behind the scenes when we’re trying to make change happen. Social media is rife with success stories about people who have made significant changes in their lives - from getting the job of their dreams to launching a successful start-up, training for a 10k or learning to crochet like a pro. Whatever the change, we’re exposed to expertly-produced, edited versions of people’s journeys, which reinforce the idea that significant change can be achieved quickly and easily.
In reality, change rarely happens overnight: more often than not, it’s part of a much longer journey involving false starts, wrong turns and course corrections along the way. As a leadership coach, I’ve spent a lot of my career working with leaders in transition, supporting them through periods of change by helping them to grow, thrive, evolve and - in some cases - move away from their current role towards something completely new. Experience has taught me that despite appearances, in almost every case creating change requires considerable inner work and emotional investment - including extensive thought, reflection, planning and a detailed exploration of our current reality, as well as potential future realities - in addition to the often complex practical steps needed to achieve our goals.
I remember when, years ago, I handed in my resignation at work and people commented at how surprised they were by what they viewed as a sudden decision. But in truth, I’d been thinking about leaving that role for a very long time, and I’d already done a lot of work behind the scenes in order to make that change happen.
It’s pretty unusual for anyone to take a giant leap into something new without having any idea what's on the other side. It’s usually wiser to take baby steps in the direction of the change we want to create: tiptoe towards it, testing things out and working out how it feels, looks and sounds along the way. That’s the best way to recognise what really matters to us and how we want our future to look.
Of course, there are times when we’re faced with sudden, unexpected change which we haven’t chosen, but which we have to respond to nonetheless. This might be the result of factors beyond our control like relationship breakdown, redundancy, bereavement, even unexpected changes in our financial or social situation. Speaking from experience, I’ve found that when this happens it helps to remind yourself not to respond in a knee-jerk way, or to make sudden, drastic changes in response to your new situation. It’s okay to take things slowly and approach life one step at a time, even if it takes months - or years - to adapt. Remember that everything will be okay in the end, even if it doesn’t seem that way right now.
Change comes in all shapes and sizes, so let it take whatever shape it needs to. And most importantly, give yourself permission to deal with the changes you want to see - as well as the ones that life has thrown at you - in your own time. Remember to pause for reflection on the way, course-correct when you need to, adjust your plan as you go and above all, be patient! Change is rarely an overnight process and focusing on taking one step at a time is likely to produce better, more lasting results.
If you’d like to master some of the practical tools for managing change, then get in touch to find out more about coaching, workshops and my new book.
