Step 1 of Creating Change
“There is more than one path to the top of the mountain.”
People who want to create change in their lives often ask me, what is the very first thing that I should do?
Thinking back to conversations with some of the people I’ve helped in the past - as well as drawing from my own experience - I realise that one of the most common mistakes that people tend to make when they’re looking to create change in their lives is to start by working out what they want to do. Sounds like the obvious starting point, right? Actually, wrong! In fact, there’s a step before that: before deciding exactly what it is we’re going to do to move forward, first we need to work out why it matters in the first place. We need to stop and ask ourselves, what’s important to me about this change? What am I hoping to achieve? What do I really want?
Taking the time to really think about what we want out of life helps us get to know ourselves better, so that we can understand the driving force behind the change we’re hoping to achieve.
Of course, there are times when it’s fine to jump in with both feet, especially if we already know what change we want to create: whether that’s moving house, changing careers, starting a family or even ending a relationship. Sometimes, the path ahead is clear and it’s obvious what we need to do. But that’s not always the case.
All too often, we jump straight into the solution and achieve the change we set out to accomplish, only to discover that it hasn’t actually given us what we wanted, and we wonder why! The answer is pretty simple: it’s because we haven’t taken enough time in the beginning to work out what really matters, what was driving our desire for change in the first place.
One of the benefits of stepping back - just a little bit - to reflect on what’s really important to us, is that it can help us to see that there might be multiple options available for creating the change that we’re hoping for. As an example, career change might be motivated, deep-down, by a desire to hold more responsibility and face new challenges at work. Yes, a totally new job might tick all these boxes, but equally, a distance-learning course could increase your professional competencies whilst opening the door to opportunities for promotion, without the instability brought about by a sudden career change. Similarly, you might be sick and tired of your house and decide, impulsively, to move, when perhaps an extension and some new interior decor would have been just as satisfying?
Of course I’m over-simplifying: creating change in our lives is often a much more complex process than this, and it’s different for us all. What I’m trying to say is this: before we throw ourselves into something - anything - it might be best to sit back for a few moments and reflect on what our end game really is. There is more than one path to the top of the mountain, but some of them will have a better view along the way.
