Facing change? Just breathe!
“Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.”
It’s easy to think it’s wrong to be selfish when we’re facing change. Throughout life, we’re taught to put everybody - and everything - else first: kids, partner, parents, home. Most of us know what it’s like to walk in the door after a long day at work, shattered and dying for a cup of tea (or glass of wine!). But before we even take our shoes off, we’ve unpacked the shopping, got the kids’ supper on the table and maybe even walked the dog. It doesn’t matter what our individual responsibilities are, the point is that we’re conditioned to put the oxygen mask on ourselves last, even when we’re the ones gasping for air.
Change comes in all shapes and sizes: but whether it’s change that we choose - like changing career, ending a relationship, moving house or starting a new hobby - or change that life throws at us, we need to get better at looking after ourselves. When we do, it makes it easier to embrace the change we’re facing, and also makes that change more sustainable in the long term.
When I’m focused on putting myself and my own needs first, I always try to start at the most basic level of all: breathing. People underestimate the power of breathing but it’s so important. Studies have shown that breathing properly can have a positive impact on our physical and mental health, by increasing the positive emotions that we feel and reducing anxiety and stress. That’s because shallow, fast breathing (which is what most of us do when we’re nervous, anxious or stressed) sets off a chain reaction in our nervous system, promoting a stress response and making us feel even worse. Conversely, taking slower, deeper breaths helps us to feel calmer and more relaxed. What’s more, actively slowing down our breathing resets our brain chemistry, helping our brains to operate at optimal levels by making us not just calmer but more effective, more in control and less reactive to what’s going on around us.
There are many different breathing techniques and exercises you can use to help you remain calm and centred in the face of whatever life throws at you. In my book, A Woman’s Guide to Change, I address the idea of mindfulness - which starts with simply taking time to slow down and pay attention to your breathing - and provide some useful tips and resources for getting started.
For now, if you’re facing change and finding it difficult to manage your stress levels, then try this simple technique: breathe in slowly, then exhale even more slowly and for just a bit longer. Repeat this process until you feel less anxious and stressed, which honestly shouldn’t take very long. It always makes me feel much calmer, and gives me the chance to take stock of where I’m at.
There are lots of ways to cope with change, but breathing is an excellent way to feel better - and more in control - quickly. Of course, it doesn’t replace therapy or treatment for severe anxiety disorders, but it can be a really effective way to control our own stress levels and help us relax.
So remember, if you’re facing any kind of change - just breathe!
