All I needed was the right container
I hope you are having a good week and that you are keeping sight of the change you want to create. This week I want to invite you to find a container for the change. That might sound a little odd, so let me start by sharing a story.
Recently I decided to try and clear out the room we call the Snug in our house. In my mind, this is a second living room, comfortable, cosy and a place you'd want to spend time. There are often four of us in this house, including two teenagers. It's quite common that we all want to be doing different activities in the evening (or in lockdown). I like the idea of using this room so that people have options. In the wilder days when we are able to have friends in our homes it's also my idea that the girls can use it to spend time with their friends (I'm not allowed to say 'hang out with' - apparently it's outdated language!). My idea is that the snug is like a New York-style loft, only smaller! Think comfy seating, relaxed lighting, games, a TV and, one day, a digital piano.
Enter reality....
In real life it's a dumping ground. There is a sofa bed. It's usually buried underneath random things that get thrust in there when I have a tidy up in the rest of the house. All of our homeless objects end up here. Picture books, boxes, cushions, papers, random electrical items - everything that doesn't have a dedicated space in the house . I'd share a picture, but honestly it would probably break the internet! You can barely find space to stand in there. I can't reach the window to close the blinds. The poor houseplants (which have ended up there in previous re-organisations) are really on a hiding to nothing.
Put simply, it's a loooooooong way from my dream.
Recently I decided it was time to make a concerted effort to tidy things up. Time to create a space that we could actually use. It's even more important since we are all spending more time at home just now.
Fortunately a friend of mine was looking for a new home for a sideboard that she had. I jumped at the chance! (Uncharacteristically I did actually measure the space and the furniture to check it would fit before I said 'yes'). In the days that followed I took time to step into the Room of Doom. I started to pick through the homeless objects and find homes for them in the sideboard. I had an idea of themes. One cupboard has craft materials in it, one cupboard has games, and one has electrical items. Soft furnishings that were no longer required were sent to charity shops or fabric recycling. I ordered a new blanket to cover the sofa bed and put a few things that may be needed in the future up into the attic.
The job was complete!
I'm delighted to say that in the intervening weeks the Snug has been used more than in the nearly two years we've lived here. I've sat there and read or done some crochet. It's been a pleasure to be joined by other family members who, when passing, have decided to come and sit beside me for a while. I've also put some chocolate in a dish to lure the teens in, with the hopes that they will also then stay and spend more time in there.
So back to what this means for you. Unless you want to create a new snug room in your house, the above might be an interesting story but not necessarily relevant).
What made the difference was the sideboard. I needed the container for all those homeless objects. They needed space and a structure and some order to be accessible, useful and not cluttering up the space. And it strikes me that when you are looking to create change, you also need the right container. What might your container be?
For some of you it might be a notebook, journal or Trello board where you can store the ideas and thoughts you have about the change you want to create.
For others it might be a dedicated time in your calendar each week or each month. Time to take stock of the change, your progress and achievements and how you've faced any challenges.
For others still it might be to have a supportive relationship where you can helped to create the change, to stay on track and to tackle any setbacks. That could be a friend, a coach or a mentor - someone who is not directly involved in the change, but who will be there to support you and cheer you on.
As a leadership coach I act as that container for my clients. It's a key part of my role and I really do feel honoured to work with the individuals who trust me to travel with them through their change journeys.
So before you start to search online for a sideboard for your change project, have a think about what container you need for the change you want to create. Stay open to opportunities that arise, and carve out a space and container for the future you're making.
