Adaptability is a super-power
“Survival of the fittest: organisms best adjusted to their environment are the most successful in surviving and reproducing.”
It’s a little known fact that the term ‘survival of the fittest’ - made famous in ‘On the Origin of Species’ by British naturalist Charles Darwin - was first coined by sociologist and philosopher Herbert Spencer. But that’s another story. Today, we’re more likely to refer to this concept as adaptability, and it’s something that’s just as crucial - to our mental health if not our survival - as it ever was.
You can't train somebody to be more adaptable - it’s something that most of us simply get better at over time - but it’s a pretty essential skill in life. Personally, I’m fairly sure that adaptability is now among my core superpowers (along with choosing the best traybake flavour, but that’s a whole other blog), probably because I’ve had so much practice.
Recently, something happened which reminded me just how important it is to be adaptable and ‘able to adjust to our environment’. A few weeks ago, my daughter Scarlet travelled to a music festival in the south of England. Unfortunately, the trip didn’t go according to plan and whilst she was there, she injured her back. As soon as she called me, I was sent into a bit of a spin: was she okay? Would she be able (or want) to stay at the festival? If she needed to come home early, how would we make that happen?
Whenever I’m confronted with a challenging situation (and the initial panic subsides), I know that I need to start by taking a step back and working out what the most important thing is. Doing this stops me from responding from a place of panic, or with too much emotion. When things don’t go as planned, it’s really easy to get caught up in the details. When we’re under stress, we can quickly lose sight of the bigger picture, which is why it’s helpful to take a step back and remind ourselves of what’s really important. Once we’ve done that, we can face the current challenge - whatever it is - head on, knowing that it will be okay in the end.
Even though I was worried when Scarlet called me from the festival, I knew deep down that everything would be fine. Once I’d given myself a moment to think things through, I realised that two things were important. First, I needed to make sure she understood that there are always options in life - that you're never completely stuck. And second, I made sure that Scarlet knew that she had everything she needed to get through this situation - that everything could be worked out, and that she wasn’t alone. In the end, she adapted by changing her plans and returning home early, to rest and recover.
Stepping back from a stressful situation and looking at what really matters helps us to respond in the best way possible. In other words, it enables us to adapt to a new situation or set of circumstances and act with intention, instead of getting caught up in the details or being sidetracked by our emotions or stress response.
Whenever you're facing change and you need to adapt, start by stepping back and focusing on what really matters. Try to notice if you're getting caught up in the emotion of something, then identify what you're feeling and give yourself a few minutes to take stock and re-evaluate what’s really important in that situation. Give yourself a chance to adapt to it. That may mean taking some time out, journaling, meditating or just sitting down with a cup of tea to think things through. Or it may help to call a trusted friend who can give you another perspective on the situation. Whatever it means for you, take the time you need to centre yourself so that you can focus on what matters. Because when you do, you'll be able to make different - and better - choices about how to adapt and respond.
